As a parent I want the best for my kids. That’s a paradox. Giving my kids “the best” often means giving them what’s good for them, which is sometimes nothing, and sometimes a hard truth that will eventually turn into “the best”.
During college I hit a difficult transition. I had to pick up a “real” job while going to school. The real job was stocking shelves during the night shift at a grocery store. I made good money and had benefits. But I was spending my days in class, and evenings, before work, in rehearsal. I quickly hit a wall, and was unsure if I could do it. I wanted to quit. One night before work, I sat in my car on the verge of a melt down. I called my dad and explained the situation. He patiently listened. I don’t remember him saying anything. But what he didn’t do was solve my problem. He let me figure out. He didn’t leave me stranded either. He was there to listen and be sounding board, but ultimately it was up to me to solve my own problem. I had to make some adjustments to both my work and school schedule, but I made it work. In a professional setting I appreciate this same dynamic. I rarely want my boss to solve my problem, but sometimes I need advice. What’s tricky is recognizing this same dynamic when it’s my turn to advise. Especial with new staff who need a lot of coaching and training. It’s so much easier to just solve the problem, and let them solve the next one. The more I do that the less they learn and the less time I have to get my work done. The less likely there will be a next one. As someone who is interested in leading, it’s important to see the opportunity in these transitions. It’s tricky to prioritize taking the time to coach and train. I recently found L. David Marquet’s Leadership Ladder. It’s a series of phrases that help turn these transitions into an opportunity. Helping the other person (either your kid or your colleague) to shift their perspective and take ownership. They are designed to empower. It’s nice to have this kind of tactic in your back pocket to use when the need arises.
1 Comment
The taste talent gap described by Ira Glass is built on a foundation of judgment. Being judgmental about the quality of a product or result is what hopefully pushes me to create something better. Seeing that my taste is greater than my talent I spend the energy it takes improve my skills.
But in practice, that judgment is driven by comparison of others which get in the way of my own progress. Comparing myself to where others who have been in their industries for 20+ years is a losing game. There’s no way to catch up. The only thing that makes sense is to compare to a former self. Then when my skills get developed rely on my taste to create the product and result I was originally looking for. I recently came across an entrepreneur whose catchphrase is: There’s riches in niches. Knowing how to do one thing really really really well is the path to success and to fulfillment. In his book, So Good They Can’t Ignore You, Cal Newport talks about the benefits of committing to an industry and field and the developing a passion for the work rather than the internet supported Passion-lead path. Last night I read about the history of building in The Checklist Manifesto: For most of modern history…going back a medieval times, the dominant way people put up buildings was by going out and hiring Master Builders who designed them, engineered them, and oversaw construction from start no finish, portico to plumbing, Master Builders built Notre Dame, St. Peters Basilica, and the United States Capitol building. But by the middle of the twentieth century the Master Builders were dead and gone. The variety and sophistication of advancements in every stage of the construction process had overwhelmed the abilities of any individual to master them. It’s easy to see parallels in other industries. This idea of becoming a super-specialist is supported by the use of data collection is just about every industry. Where the data allows to make more informed decision about the specific problems in our specific industry for a specific customer. Further supporting the customization of everything.
My mood is affected by different kinds of stimuli. Music, atmosphere, lighting, and weather are a few examples that regularly make an impact on how I’m feeling and my energy levels. The one thing that affects me more than anything is people. Perhaps it’s my extroverted tendencies but the people I interact with have a large impact on how I feel. The more I interact with them the more impact they have.
Some people have perfected the art of sucking the energy out of others. Austin Kleon calls them vampires. They are the kind of people that can derail us no matter what we bring to the table. What I’m more interested in is the more common and subtle exchange of energy. These are the daily interactions we have throughout the day that take a little or give a little and produce a negative or positive result at the end of the day. I believe that it’s in these smaller interactions we have the greatest control. In this position we have more of a choice to take or pass energy. Depending on the kind of person you are (introverted or extraverted) we can either be depleted or energized by this interaction. Making the choice prior to the exchange will more likely provide the result we are looking for rather than leaving it up to chance; hoping the other person will give us the boost of energy we’re looking for. As an extravert I tend to be energized by passing energy. Deciding to pass energy at the beginning of the day sets me up for having more energy. This often works because most people reflect the energy they are given. In a sense I’m giving myself energy. The challenge comes when the other person is a black hole and my energy has no effect on them. In this case I have to fortify myself, and conserve my energy, otherwise I’ll get sucked into their vortex. If this is consistent it calls for the Vampire Test. An unwritten consensus in academia is “knowledge is king”. There is such an emphasis on knowledge that the practical application of the knowledge is a distant second. With access to the internet, information and “knowledge” are readily available. We have access to more information than ever before. So much that it creates paralysis on applying that knowledge in a meaningful or impactful way. But what good is the information if it’s not applied? Application is harder than implementing an industry “best practice”. Application takes experimentation, feedback, and analysis after acquiring the knowledge and creating a plan. Try -> Analyze -> Adjust -> Try Repeating this process until a functioning practice is established.
There are a million variables that affect this process and prevent adoption. Especially if this new practice is a big shift from the status quo. For this reason the world of application tenacity and consistency trump talent. Sharing and collecting data has been the avenue in which we are now able to have customized experiences. Like increasing the standard of living it’s difficult to go backward to something generic. Customized experiences are now the expectation. When I don’t get an at least somewhat customized experience I assume there’s something wrong with the business, and am put out. Especially when it results in me doing extra, repeated, or what feels like unnecessary work.
Now it is more important to understand and know how to leverage data to create customized experiences for ourselves and others. The work we engage in is getting increasingly more complex, without the use of data automation it will be harder to spend enough time with the deep work necessary to make forward progression. Computers have the ability to make our lives easier, automating repeated tasks and making room for meaningful and impactful work. This sounds grandiose but it’s not limited to large datasets and software. It’s starts with simple things like managing our contacts on our smartphones. Filling in the basic information on the profile of my contacts will give me the foundation for building stronger and more fulfilling relationships. Not knowing that birthdays from contacts are pushed to the calendar, or that I can pull a list of addresses when I’m ready to send out Christmas cards is getting in the way of knowing and understanding data and the systems that use them. My individuality is important to me. Having a sense of self reminder me I exist and matter. One of the ways I express my individuality is through the physical objects I use and surround myself with.
Things like:
They all play a role. One of the ways these objects define me is by staking claim to aspects of the society I live in. This in turn communicates my overall values while each one maintains a sense of meaning and/or purpose. Because of the subtlety of these daily objects I often dismiss them as irrelevant. It’s only after repeatedly coming back to an object that I began to recognize the role it plays. Over the couple of years I have been on the hunt for a pen that writes well, is comfortable to use, and is made of metal. I always have a pen. Having the right pen makes a big difference with the enjoyment of my daily use. I love the way a felt tip pen writes but hate having to throw it away after the ink has run out. It feels so wasteful (a value I hold). After moving through a series of felt tip pens I’ve recently settled on a metal-barreled Sharpie S-Gel. The metal-barreled Sharpie does the trick but half of it is plastic. The plastic components will eventually wear out and I’ll have to throw it away. I’m at a impasse with this object that is an extension of who I am in the world.
When I look back at my writing. Especially during the time I was writing morning pages there are some clear themes. Over the course of four years I wrote extensively about specific problems and issues, with no resolve. Looking at it now is like riding The Gravitron. It’s the same thing over and over lasting longer than it should and resulting in an upset stomach.
I believe in the power of writing. I can soapbox about the benefits of filling blank pages with all the crap rolling around my head. In writing so extensively about my struggles I anticipated the process would help. That over time I would get to some solution and relief. Instead the process of coming back to the same gnat again and again magnified it. The daily rehashing of my frustrations pushed a lot of energy toward it. Leaving little for anything else. In an effort to work through them and break them apart they became a central focus. Bleeding into every part of my life. I have been painting my own elephants pink. |