As a parent I want the best for my kids. That’s a paradox. Giving my kids “the best” often means giving them what’s good for them, which is sometimes nothing, and sometimes a hard truth that will eventually turn into “the best”.
During college I hit a difficult transition. I had to pick up a “real” job while going to school. The real job was stocking shelves during the night shift at a grocery store. I made good money and had benefits. But I was spending my days in class, and evenings, before work, in rehearsal. I quickly hit a wall, and was unsure if I could do it. I wanted to quit. One night before work, I sat in my car on the verge of a melt down. I called my dad and explained the situation. He patiently listened. I don’t remember him saying anything. But what he didn’t do was solve my problem. He let me figure out. He didn’t leave me stranded either. He was there to listen and be sounding board, but ultimately it was up to me to solve my own problem. I had to make some adjustments to both my work and school schedule, but I made it work. In a professional setting I appreciate this same dynamic. I rarely want my boss to solve my problem, but sometimes I need advice. What’s tricky is recognizing this same dynamic when it’s my turn to advise. Especial with new staff who need a lot of coaching and training. It’s so much easier to just solve the problem, and let them solve the next one. The more I do that the less they learn and the less time I have to get my work done. The less likely there will be a next one. As someone who is interested in leading, it’s important to see the opportunity in these transitions. It’s tricky to prioritize taking the time to coach and train. I recently found L. David Marquet’s Leadership Ladder. It’s a series of phrases that help turn these transitions into an opportunity. Helping the other person (either your kid or your colleague) to shift their perspective and take ownership. They are designed to empower. It’s nice to have this kind of tactic in your back pocket to use when the need arises.
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> During college I hit a difficult transition. I had to pick up a “real” job while going to school. The real job was stocking shelves during the night shift at a grocery store. I made good money and had benefits. But I was spending my days in class, and evenings, before work, in rehearsal. I quickly hit a wall, and was unsure if I could do it. I wanted to quit.
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