I am Scared to Start

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​I am scared to start.  I have a million ideas that I would love to execute.  I can visualize the details and imagine the success but most of the time I don’t even start.
 
Even if I do start I get a little ways into the process and realize that my original idea has changed, or the market has changed, or I get a new idea.  It’s the change that freaks me out.  I put on the breaks and I throw in the towel.
 
And…nothing happens.  I still have a million ideas that never see the light of day. 
 
When I first started blogging and had every intention to create something that others would value.   But, I worried about what the end project would look like.  That insecurity led me to reach out and ask for some advice.  I didn’t take it, but I got it. 
 
Truth is I wasn’t ready for it.  There are a lot of insectaries that I was working though (still working through) that prevented me from really committing.
 
The first person I reached out to was Tanner Guzy.  He runs the men’s style blog Masculine-Style.  He quit his full time job this February to run his sight full time.
 
He told me that the most important thing was to be consistent.  Be consistent and people will show up.
 
I wasn’t consistent.
 
Then I reached out to my friend Richie T. Steadman.  At the time his podcast The Cultural Hall was getting some early traction.  I asked him if the podcast had changed since he recorded the first episode?
 
He said that it absolutely did.  That it was very different from what he thought it was going to be and that he just had to get to a point where he had to let evolve into it’s own thing.
 
Then yesterday as I was eating lunch I came across this video of Casey Neistat with his company Beme.  If you don’t know Casey Neistat then you need to spend some time on his channel.
 
Beme started out as a social media app, which then got bought by CNN.  They have since turned it into a media company that is trying to find it’s footing.  I edited this video just to shoe the process Casey talks about.

​My point is this:
 
This are going to change, opinions change, opportunities change, it’s what makes like exciting.  If you would have told me in college that I would eventually be the Director of Admissions at a small private art college in Oregon I wouldn’t have believed you.  I was dead set on doing theatre for the rest of my life.  But, I wouldn’t change where I’m at.
 
Just because a project I start changes doesn’t mean that it doesn’t have value.  It just means that things changed and it provides a different kind of value.
 
When I took Drawing 2 in college I took my final project to my professor to ask for a critique.  She was honest and told me it was awful.  I erased the whole thing and started over again. 
 
After I was done with the second iteration I went back to my professor with it.  I could tell something wasn’t right but I needed some validation.  She told me again to start over.
 
I did and third one worked out.  It was a crappy process that I don’t remember when I need to.
 
It’s okay for things to change.  It’s okay for me change.