I have a bias against anger. I don’t like the way it feels. I have never found it useful. If it’s not useful then what’s the point? I grew up avoiding it at all costs. Hanging on to the adage: Turn the other cheek.
Anger made me feel out of control, reacting in ways I’m not proud of. The shame I felt after my behavior was enough to reinforce the benefit of suppressing my anger.
My understanding of anger has shifted recently thanks to the process of parenting and the work of Brené Brown. I’ve incorrectly judged emotions because of how they felt in the moment. With some reflection they can provide insight into who I am and how I work. Which is extremely uncomfortable.
Anger, when I don’t ignore it, can be a good motivator. It’s a strong enough emotion that it can drive action consistently. Wanting to prove others wrong, may be a problematic intention but it helps manage my consistent effort to see it through.