I urge you to find a way to immerse yourself fully in the life that you've been given. To stop running from whatever you're trying to escape, and instead to stop, and turn, and face whatever it is. This section of Dopamine Nation resonates with me. In more than just poignant wisdom. It feels like a description of how I have approached living. I have early memories of slipping into the mindset of “…at this point…” forever looking into the future at a specific event. Only to get to there and bypass it because a new future event had come into focus. For someone who was trained to be present on stage through improv, I have a difficult time staying in the moment off stage. The author of the book shifted the way I see addiction, opening up the definition and making it in less severe and more everyday. Not as something that one suffers but as something that one uses. Suffering just happens to be a side effect. Addiction is something we all use to cope. Seeing it as tool is what creates the justification while in the addiction and suggests that it is common practice. Opening up that definition I have a clearer picture of my own addictive behavior. Which begs the question, what am I running away from? Discontent is a way I have identified since high school. After getting my job as a teacher I remember a conversation with my mentor where we discussed a student we were both teaching. We wished we could be as content and simple. I was hiding under the humility of the phrasing, really loving my discontent with where I was. Convinced my discontent was ambition. Looking back on it now I can’t help but think that perhaps I haven’t always been happy with who I am and the circumstances I’ve been given. Disappointed that I hadn’t lived up to other’s expectations or my own fantasies. Like Siddhartha I have been looking for solutions outside of myself. Chasing a dragon that doesn’t exist. Avoiding what’s staring me in the face. Sitting in this space I don’t believe I am unaware. In fact I think it’s my awareness that is the root of my avoidance. The quote above ends with the necessary action, and the part I have been avoiding: Run towards what you’ve been avoiding.
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