Junto
July 2022
The older I get the more complicated I feel about the Fourth of July. History is never as straightforward as it is presented. Growing up in the military has given me a soft spot for service members and the country they protect and healthy portion of how I identify.
One of the themes I come back to about Independence Day is the transition from the old to the new—embracing a new way of doing things and dropping the habits that prevent progress.
2022 has been a year of transition. Just about every aspect of my life is in flux.
The last few months have been particularly challenging. I’ve had to postpone the monthly newsletter in order to give space for these “transitions”.
Every new beginning starts with an ending. That is what I want to focus on this month: endings.
According to William Bridges' book Transitions, there are three stages to a transition.
We must go through each stage before moving to the next. Otherwise, we haven’t fully transitioned. Here in lies the rub to the whole thing.
The Neutral Zone is a scary place to sit primarily because not a whole lot happens. It’s a place we sit to figure things out. It’s the space we wait for things to begin. And for me, waiting is the worst.
I’d rather not do it at all. I’d rather just skip the middle part and go right to The Beginning. As I look back at this three-stage process and how I’ve historically worked through it, one thing stands out: I don’t. I don’t work through it at all.
I skip The Neutral Zone altogether by never really closing out The End. Instead, I jump to The Beginning. Continuing to hold on to everything. That’s a lot to carry.
The easiest example of this for me is growing up in the military and moving every few years. I didn’t have time to process the ending of the relationships I had built or let go of the place I had come to call home. I wanted to get out of The Neutral Zone of being the new kid and not having any friends as quickly as possible. I’d just get started.
This, I think, has become the model for how I handle transitions.
I would like to discuss how you end things. Over the next couple of weeks give time to the way you end.
Put in your answers below.
One of the themes I come back to about Independence Day is the transition from the old to the new—embracing a new way of doing things and dropping the habits that prevent progress.
2022 has been a year of transition. Just about every aspect of my life is in flux.
- My kids are getting older
- My marriage is shifting
- My career is getting stagnant
The last few months have been particularly challenging. I’ve had to postpone the monthly newsletter in order to give space for these “transitions”.
Every new beginning starts with an ending. That is what I want to focus on this month: endings.
According to William Bridges' book Transitions, there are three stages to a transition.
- The End
- The Neutral Zone
- The Beginning
We must go through each stage before moving to the next. Otherwise, we haven’t fully transitioned. Here in lies the rub to the whole thing.
The Neutral Zone is a scary place to sit primarily because not a whole lot happens. It’s a place we sit to figure things out. It’s the space we wait for things to begin. And for me, waiting is the worst.
I’d rather not do it at all. I’d rather just skip the middle part and go right to The Beginning. As I look back at this three-stage process and how I’ve historically worked through it, one thing stands out: I don’t. I don’t work through it at all.
I skip The Neutral Zone altogether by never really closing out The End. Instead, I jump to The Beginning. Continuing to hold on to everything. That’s a lot to carry.
The easiest example of this for me is growing up in the military and moving every few years. I didn’t have time to process the ending of the relationships I had built or let go of the place I had come to call home. I wanted to get out of The Neutral Zone of being the new kid and not having any friends as quickly as possible. I’d just get started.
This, I think, has become the model for how I handle transitions.
I would like to discuss how you end things. Over the next couple of weeks give time to the way you end.
- How do you work through an ending?
- Is it a fast process?
- Is it slow?
- Is there a definitive cut-off?
- Do you draw it out?
Put in your answers below.