I am a Borrower of Truth.

​Until I find the truths that resonate for me I will keep trying truths out. Discovering who I am in the process.
 
Truth should be straight forward, but it’s not.  It is like that time I told my mom I didn’t kiss that girl in my first grade class.  She kissed me.  Truth isn’t black and white.
 
It’s not true when someone tells me they could never get up on stage and do improv.  Anyone can get up and do improv.  Most people do improv everyday they just don’t know it.
 
What that improv-less person is referring to is a very specific set of parameters.  They can’t get up on stage now and produce the kind of improv it takes 10 years to develop.  That’s true.  But they didn’t say that.
 
What would have been more accurate is,
 
“I don’t want to put in the time and energy over the next few years developing my improv craft so that I can get up at any point and perform improv like a professional.”
 
I am assuming that’s what they implied.
 
Looking at truth this way only scratches the surface of personal truth.  That’s the truth that isn’t so black and white.  It’s this truth that is scary to look at because it’s me getting a glimpse of what I don’t like about myself.
 
I listened to a podcast with Seth Godin a long time ago.  There was one part of the interview that has stood out.  Seth Godin has written a lot of books [link].  Naturally, the interviewer asked about his writing process and habits.
 
Seth Godin responded with “It doesn’t matter.”  His process and habits are his, they allow him to do the work that he wants to accomplish.
 
I could copy his way of doing things but then it’s only copying.  It’s not really my thing.  It’s not really my truth.  The resulting work wouldn’t be authentic.
 
It doesn’t matter that Set Godin was talking about writing.  It’s the process that’s important.  That’s the trick to everything.  Figuring out the way that things work for me.  That is my truth.
 
Discovering truth is hard as hell.  My guess is that’s why most people don’t do it.  Mind you that’s a huge assumption that is based on where I’m at and what I’m doing.  I just figure that I am the average.  And I’m lost.
 
Uncovering the process for how I do things takes a long time and is something I don’t always enjoy.  I hate seeing the mistakes that I make that result in frustration and nothing to show.
 
When I wanted to focus on living healthier I stole from a lot of people.  I did a lot of research on diets, and exercise and what works and what doesn’t.  At the end of the day I just had to experiment with a lot of different things and what ended up sticking was a Frankenstein mash-up of everything I learned.
 
As long as it’s working who the freak cares?
 
When I get results I feel that way, but when I don’t I doubt myself.  I start to think if it worked for someone else why can’t it work for me?  There must be something wrong with me.  The whole time I’m trying to live someone else’s truth.  There’s nothing wrong with me its just part of the process.
 
Because I’m human, and a man, I like it when things have a label and are easy to understand.  To justify this whole self-doubting process I have decided that I’m a borrower.  I borrow other people’s truths, like training wheels, until I can get my own footing and figure out how I do things.
 
I think it’s the concept that is the foundation for the phrase:

I don’t expect to figure everything out.  There’s a lot that I’ve stolen that works just fine.  I appreciate those who came before me that gave me the opportunity to steal their work and stand on their shoulders.