My evolved lizard brain loves labels and compartmentalization. So did my middle school self. When I process what is happening in my world it was so much easier to understand it when things fit into boxes and don’t overlap. Because of that, I have tried to fit myself into a box. I hate the word hypocrite because deep down I knew I am one. How could I, a “skater”, like Nike? How could I, a Mormon, like tattoos? How could I, an artist, like business? It doesn’t make any sense. And I hate it. When I look at the people that I look up to and admired I only see one thing, the thing that they are good at, the thing that they are known for. It is impossible for my 2-dimensional brain to fathom those people having 3-dimensions. Every one is stock character. When people show signs of depth, or differences, or weaknesses, or variety, I think less of them. I think, they don’t have don’t have things figured out. When I say, “people” I really mean me, and when I say, “them” or “they”, I really mean myself. I have rejected my complexity. I rejected the things about me that didn’t make social sense. I don’t understand why at 15 years old I would rather watch Samurai Jack than the Super Bowl. I just thought I was weird. I thought I was different. I thought I was an outlier. Because of that, I thought I was special. There’s nothing to understand. I’m just like every one else. I’m a whole person. I’ve finally started to accept that. It’s okay for me to be me. It’s okay that my story involves:
And that’s only part of the story. I have spent years trying to find out who I am when I’ve been here the whole time. I don’t know why it has been so hard to me to get comfortable being inside my own skin. I can’t say that it’s comfortable all the time but, I know that the few times I have felt it it feels pretty great. I found these videos a couples of years ago and had an instant connection with them. Mostly because they do what I described above, focus on the one thing. Rediscovering them recently I’ve found a different layer to them, Aaron Draplin’s side hustles aren’t side hustles. They are pieces that make up who he is. I am sure he is much more complex and interesting that what’s shown. Take the time to enjoy his authenticity. WARNING: there are some f-bombs.
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