I wrote a few proposals to present at three enrollment conferences this summer. Two of my proposals were accepted.
It was at that point that the fear set in.
Writing a proposal is easy. Especially when it’s a matter of answering a few questions on a form.
I have nothing to lose in writing the proposal. If it’s not a good idea then it wouldn’t have been accepted and then I can move on like nothing happened. Now that it’s all electronic there’s not even physical proof that I put myself out there.
Any time my ideas get any kind of validation I go through two stages:
Then the fear sets in…
What if I’m not good enough?
What if I can’t pull it together?
What if it’s not really that great of an idea and the validator was just being nice?
And it continues into a spiral of self-deprecation and doom.
That might be a little dramatic. But, it’s not far off either.
The only benefit of this summer’s presentation is that it’s far enough off that I’ve been able to push a lot of those feelings aside.
Because it is an unusual occurrence, I’ve never presented at a national conference, and these fears are biological reactions. All the self-deprecation is a physical response to the unexpected.
Fight or flight.
I learned about it in 2nd grade, and then again in 6th grade. It was always explained in context with zebras and lions. That fight or flight is triggered by life threatening situations.
It wasn’t until I started teaching and was getting training for new teachers that a new light was shed on fight or flight. It’s not just life threatening situations but perceived life threatening situations.
Because my brain is so powerful perception is processed the same way as reality. My body starts to react in order to save my life. This is the concept behind public speaking being a greater fear than death.
It also explains the girl in seventh grade class who stood up in front of the class with a box of cupcakes like she’s always done it, until she looked in the eyes of her audience. Then she burst into tears and couldn’t make it through (true story).
It also explains why, even after 20+ years of being in front of people I still sweat like crazy when I present. Especially in front of my peers.
Despite understanding the science behind it and having the experience that presenting has never killed me, by body still goes through the same reactions. I get scared.
The same thing happened with the money I spent to get to the conference. I worked with my boss to set up a budget. I had an idea of what I was going to spend. But all of that is like filling out a proposal. It doesn’t mean anything until I spend the money.
I spent a couple of weeks looking at flights and hotels and calculating food costs. When it finally came time to put the credit card number in and commit to going to the conference I froze. I waited a few more days.
The only thing that got me through was that I am going with a colleague and was booking for both of us. She asked me about it. I felt some social obligation to get it done. So I got it done.
Submitting the payment left me with a sinking feeling, like I had done the wrong thing. I literally looked over my shoulder concerned that someone was going to tell me that it was too much, the wrong flight, the wrong hotel, the wrong amounts for food.
Talk about irrational fear.
That was with someone else’s money. My own money is completely different story. For a completely different post.
How does your fight or flight get triggered?
Parenting is Rough
Parenting is the hardest thing I’ve ever done. It’s way harder than marriage. Not that marriage isn’t hard but, I know that Jocelyn is an adult and can take of herself. My kids are just kids.
I’ve had a couple experiences with my son the last couple of weeks that have re-solidified the importance of my role as a dad. I’ve written about it before and will likely write about it again.
On Tuesdays and Thursday I pick Emerson up from Karate, while Jocelyn is up with Norah at swim lessons. For about twenty minutes it’s just the two of us at home. I start dinner, he changes out of his gi and we talk. Until the ladies get home.
Emerson has mentioned how much he enjoys the time with just the two of us. Even though we don’t really do anything.
On one particular day he was very excited about it just being the two of us. While he was changing out of his gi the garage door opened. Immediately he burst into tears. Upset that he didn’t get to enjoy our time together.
I didn’t know what to do. It’s impossible for me to know what’s important to him. Once I find out, I want to make sure that he knows that I know that it’s important to. I try to make it a priority.
I am guessing, like his mom, that his love language is quality time.
A week of so later during this same time we got to talking. Emerson said to me, “I wish I didn’t have to go to school so that I could spend all my time with you.”
In not one of my prouder moments I responded with something like, “Why? I don’t want to spend all my time with you.”
Hopefully my memory is much worse than it was. I do remember that Emerson’s response was very questioning. He wanted to know why.
It’s not that I don’t want to spend time with him. I know that he doesn’t want to spend all of his time with me. He just wants to build a relationship.
I scrambled trying to justify my answer with having to go do work, and make money, which is really just an excuse. I did say that I loved to spend time with him and that I always look forward to the time we spend together.
We moved passed the moment and I am sure that I thought about it a lot more than he did. At least I hope that I thought about it a lot more than he did.
When something like that comes out of my mouth it has to come from somewhere and so I tried to figure out where it came from (I know big surprise). It’s always difficult to discover things about myself that I didn’t expect or that I don’t necessarily like.
I love being a family man. I love being a dad. So why didn’t I say, “I wish I could stay home all the time too.”?
Because I don’t want to stay home all the time. I also love what I do. I love being involved with something bigger than myself. I love working on creative projects that stretch me. I love helping students go to college.
My involvement with those things isn’t bad. Where I think that involvement has the ability to wreck my relationship with my kids is when I fail to acknowledge it. When I pretend to be something that I’m not because I lack self-awareness.
Like anything that is good there is a dark side too. In order for me to have self-awareness I have to see the things I don’t like:
I am reactionary and impatient
I don’t always say what’s on my mind
I can be passive aggressive
I can come across as unsympathetic and uncaring
I have a hard time joking
Those are just some of things that I struggle with. On the reverse side of those coins:
I love just about everyone
I am always willing to forgive and forget
I can pretend with the best of them
I will support anything that you want to do or accomplish
I will apologize when I’ve made a mistake and do my best to correct it
I want my kids to be better than me. In many cases they are. I know that I am providing an example whether I love the example I am setting or not.
After many parenting foibles I hope that my example places them in reality. That when they see me they see me for what I am.
I’m a dude that makes mistakes, tries his best, and corrects the wrongs he makes. At the end of the day that’s all I can hope to be. I hope that’s what they see, and ultimately become.
I talked specifically about my son in this post. He is the most vocal. He takes after Jocelyn. Norah, in this regard is like me, just goes with the flow and keeps things inside. The struggle is getting her to open up and talk about things.
My hope is the same for both of them.
Second installment. Would love for you to get involved. Sign up below to join.
I have a routine for just about everything. I set it up that way so that I don’t have to think about it. There are some pros and cons to this strategy.
On the one hand, I am able to get things done. On the other had it provides me time to think, which in itself, can be good and bad.
For me, I have fallen into the bad habit of getting into my head during this time. To think about all the things that I’m doing. To analyze them. To break them down and rebuild them. To know myself thoroughly.
Which sounds pretty good. At time it has been.
The problem is that this process filters everything through the lens of how I think things “should” be. Instead of just experiencing them in the moment, letting things happen, and discovering how they turn out.
A friend of mind told this story about being Rome and how his friend spent a chunk of time experiencing Rome through his camera. When he finally put the camera down he noticed things, for the first time that had been right under his nose.
When I’m in my head I am experiencing a counterfeit of reality.
This came to my attention a week or so ago when I was making breakfast and packing lunches for my kids. My wife came downstairs and the next 20 minutes were spent dancing, singing and telling inside jokes.
Before you roll your eyes about my idyllic marriage let me tell you that this is not normal. In fact I need to write a formal apology to all the women that I dated before getting married about my seriousness.
You see I am very serious. Too serious.
Serious to the point that this moment in time stood out. I tried to figure out why these moments didn’t happen more.
In standard Wade-search (my version of research) I tried to figure out what was going on. In the process, a friend of mine suggested that maybe I was too scared to feel. Too scared to be in the moment and feel what I was going through. Then came the aha.
She was right. I was filtering.
I am so worried about my performance and the judgment of others that I don’t allow my self to be in the moment and feel what’s going on right here, right now. I don’t participate because I something might happen that I’m not proud of. I have to be on.
That makes me serious.
Instead of enjoying a book for what it is, I look for meaning and application.
Instead of listening to a conversation, I am planning my rebuttal and the solution.
Instead of playing with my kids, I am worried about how they are going to process problems in their teens and wonder if I am going to be seen as a resource and not a monster.
Instead relaxing into a good nights sleep, I think about all the good I am going to do in the world…tomorrow.
The time that I’ve been given is way more precious that I give it credit for. It’s value comes from being in it, not from thinking about it.
On the reverse side of that I had an experience that triggered a deep spiral of analytical thought. I could feel my demeanor change from here to in my head. I could feel myself revert back to my angsty teenage self. I was instantly stuck.
The only way out of it was to open my mouth and talk to my wife. Now that I’ve had a glimpse of what life is like without the lens, I would much rather experience the real reality.
How do you focus on the here and now and not get caught up in the past and the future?
I wanted to be a performer at a very early age. That’s due, in part, with the movies that my parents exposed me too.
Things like this:
I dreamt about being a chimney sweep/street artist/one-man-band. Because of those experiences I got into theatre early (12) and stayed in for a long time (I can’t say I’ve really left).
Seeing the end result of the some of the best performers in the world and made me want to replicate their success. My assumption was that it was talent that carried them to those points.
This assumption was based on my early success with natural talent. I have the ability to pick things up quickly. It’s diving deep and following through that I struggle with.
Here’s the thing about rehearsal, any kind of rehearsal, it’s boring. It’s monotonous. It is literally doing the same thing over and over again until you get to the point where you don’t have to think about it.
Don’t get me wrong, there is something about the rehearsal process that I love. Getting around creative people and creating something is intoxicating and exciting. When that group of creators becomes uninhibited and discovers something incredible it makes the monotony worth it. It’s probably my favorite part of improv.
When it comes to making progress on anything, it is exactly like rehearsal. It’s boring.
I wrote about my new morning and evening rituals and the benefit of the ritual. Now that I’ve kept it up for a few months I am different person. I process things differently. I have a different outlook. I have no intention of changing those rituals.
Day in and day out it feels like nothing is going on. It feels like I’m doing the same thing everyday. But, my writing is better. My mindfulness and presence is better. I feel better.
Results never happen over night. It is from the compilation of boring tasks done on a regular basis.
I have a list of things that I want to do. Things that I think will make my life better in the long run. When I was thinking about this list, a few months ago, I had came up with a new analogy for my change in perspective.
When I would look at that list all I saw was the mountain at the end of the trail. It was overwhelming. Looking at all the work that has to happen between where I’m at where I want to be is so discouraging that I would give up. I’d done right after I got started. I’m a good starter.
Now that I am feeling more present and focusing on the here and now I glance up to the top, but don’t stare. I get an idea of where I want to go and then I look at my feet. I look at the hill ahead. I look at where I can go and what I can do today to get there.
This concept isn’t new. I have heard a form of this analogy all my life.
A few years ago I bought a goal-planning book that describes this same process, except he says drips instead to steps. Completing tasks one drip at a time slowing making progress to the end goal.
I’ve understood this concept, but I’ve never learned it.
The best definition of learning I’ve heard is: when you learn something, it changes your behavior.
My behavior never changed. I still have these worries that I will revert back to my old self. I try to be aware of where I’m at and what needs to happen. I realize now that the process I’m going through is going to be boring. That’s how I know I’m doing it right.
It’s boring. There is a part of me that fights against this. Life should be exciting. Thanks to the constant feed of modern society my expectation is that it should constant.
Every celebrity’s life is awesome all the time. Until they get to work. Until they have to perform and then it becomes a series of mundane tasks that eventually lead to the performance of a lifetime.
So really, boring is okay. Because eventually I’ll get there.
I’ve never really considered myself a maker. A creator, yes. But a maker? Nah.
When my dad built his retirement home he constantly talked about how he wanted a workshop in his garage. I didn’t get it. I grew up with him making a few things. He’s mechanically minded. We worked on cars a little bit, and built things out of wood.
I wouldn’t have considered it enough to warrant an entire shop. I didn’t understand his obsession with it.
I’ve always liked to take things apart, but it was always just tinkering. There was no real purpose or reason behind it. I was way more interested in academics and using my brain. Although I’ve enjoyed the physical aspects of things I’ve gotten involved with:
The creative process can be physical and I like that, equally as much as the brainy parts.
This last weekend opened a new door for me. There have been some projects around the house that have needed to get done. I went to Home Depot with a specific amount of money and a huge list of things. I was pretty sure I wasn’t going to get everything on my list. Turned out the wood I needed was on sale. I got it all.
When I got home, I got to work. I finished the backyard electrical that’s been unfinished for two years. I finished a windowsill, which was a feat considering my tool selection is pretty limited. I built an arm table for the couch.
I’ve never built any of them, so starting and finishing them within the weekend was extremely rewarding. There is something about building with my hands and having it look decent and function the way it’s supposed to. It’s a piece of me that’s not me.
The most significant aspect for me was adding to the house. I know that the house is mine I bought it. But, someone else designed it, and built it. I just live in it. We decorated it, styled it to our way of life, but when I put that windowsill on it started to become mine.
I added to the existing house. It’s now architecturally different than every other townhouse in the complex because I added that windowsill. That’s pretty awesome.
I know that that windowsill is going to have no impact on the world at large. But, it will have an impact on the day-to-day life of my family. On a small scale it parallels the idea that it’s harder to live for a cause than to die for one. Living is taking small steps daily dying is one giant act. It’s easy to get lost in the minutia of the daily.
Working on those projects this weekend sparked the maker in me. It’s helped me understand my dad’s reason for adding a workshop. His desire for a space to call his own where he can have the tools he needs to make and to build. To make his life uniquely his.
A few weeks ago I was having a conversation with my friend Peter Sham. He brought up death and how he can see it in the distance and he’s in a furious race to get as much work out as possible.
I want to make things. Not just to make things, but to make my life better.
When I say, “I want to make my life better” there’s a part of me that fights back. That responds with, “Who the hell are you to make that, to do that, to be that?”
It’s hard not to believe those. To push through that resistance that my inner gremlins create. But, when I sit with the results of the work after the fight, it’s worth it.
What projects are you working on? If you’re not working on anything what’s preventing you from diving in?
This is the first of hopefully many iterations of the project Right here. Right now. That connects us at a specific moment in time. I'd love to get as many people involved as possible. If you're interested in taking part in Right here. Right now. go ahead and plug your information in the form below and get added to the list.
If you know anyone you'd like to invite to participate in the project please share this post. Thanks!
I’ve never realized how important organization is. I get that it’s important. It makes life easier. When I’m in the middle of a mess I feel claustrophobic and stuck. Often times I can’t do anything until I’ve organized it. Only after that can I make sense of things and make a decision about what to do.
But it’s important. Like extremely important. On the level of the only reason I am beginning to understand it’s importance is because I’ve experienced it’s importance. Then again everything is that way. Or at least it feels that way.
This all came about in this last week when a couple of different things got brought up.
Like many things, looking at them separately it’s hard to see the connection but because they happened at the same time for me, they over lapped like a van diagram. It may have unearthed something that could be totally life changing.
I don’t want to oversell it, nor do I want to commit to something before it’s worked for me. But the experience connected a couple of ideas for me. That in itself was powerful.
In 33 Strategies of War, Robert Greene talks about the ability to execute strategy can make or break someone’s career and what they accomplish. See at a 30,000 foot level can be extremely beneficial for everyone no matter what world they’re navigating.
Of course after hearing this I get all excited about being strategic with everything I do. But, he says, before I can start thinking and working strategically I need to get organized. It’s not until the different elements in my life are organized enough to work as efficiently as possible that I can start getting strategic.
Chess is the classic example of strategy. In order to play at any level there has to be a certain amount of strategy. The benefit of learning strategy in chess is that the organization is already done. I know how the pieces move. I know how they attack. I know the layout of the board. I know the goal of the game. All that’s left is playing the strategy.
I get it. If things aren’t working for me on the ground level then there’s no way a 30,000-foot view is going to help. It’s the same logic as I shouldn’t start investing my money until I have an emergency fund set aside.
I can’t run before I can walk. Got it.
A while ago I had written off organization. There’s a reason I’m an improvisor. I’m not so bad that I can’t accomplish anything but I live in a certain amount of controlled chaos and I’m okay with that.
The first time I saw the real power of organization was when I was assigned a stage manager for the first time. It completely changed the way I directed. I could focus on what was important because everything else was taken care of. It was eye opening.
The unfortunate solution from that experience is to hire a personal assistant. Since that’s out of the question I stuck with my original write off plans.
But….I’ve come to realize I can have all the grandiose plans in the world, but unless I can be strategic about them they will never happen. Time will keep ticking by. Before I know it I’ll be an old man and then I’ll be dead.
If I want the benefits of being strategic, which I do, then I need to learn how to be organized.
I gotta get my crap together.
Low and behold I get an email from Rhett with a video explaining this:
I’ve committed to using the bullet journal for two months. So far (a week or so), it’s been an interesting experience. In a good way.
Like any other new habit there are a few bugs to work out and I’m still learning how I use it. But I love the process and it’s put into motion something I’ve been trying to do for years.
I like the bullet journal because it’s all encompassing. I can put anything I want in there, wherever it happens to fall. Thanks to the index at the beginning I’ll be able to find it later. That one thing alone has been freeing.
In the past I have felt so confined by subject, feeling like I can’t cross contaminate my notebooks with multiple subjects. I mentally compartmentalize, which means I have to physically compartmentalize. Everything goes into my bullet journal and it’s not disrupting the organization of the information. Awesome!
I also love that it’s analog. There’s something about holding the list of things that I want to do. Physically going through them and crossing them off.
With the future log I feel like I’m looking enough into the future to keep things in mind and plan for them.
I have found that I’m using it to write things down that I’ve done, not that are necessarily on my to do list. Like when my kids ate their dinner without being coerced into it. I want to remember what it was so that I make sure it’s on future dinner plans.
Writing those things down helps me track what I’m doing. Giving me a realistic idea of what I spend my time doing [link].
It’s in the very early stages, but I am enjoying it way more than I ever anticipated. I’ll take that!
What have you found that has worked to keep you organized?
I have spent the majority of my life asking for permission. Asking for the approval to do the things that I want. To make sure that it’s okay with those who had authority, or at least the perception of authority. Now that I’m an adult and I am the the authority I don’t need that permission. But, I’m still in the habit of asking for it.
I remember the transition of not having to tell my parents that I was going to the bathroom. But, it wasn’t until college that I did have to get permission to leave class to use the bathroom. Thinking about that now it seems crazy.
In school when I was working on a project that I was keenly interested in the project had to line up within the boundaries of the assignment, otherwise I wouldn’t get a good grade. Therefore not getting approval for the work that I put into it.
I get the idea of having certain criteria for assignment. It helped me learn how to write properly, or run a scientific experiment so the results would be valuable. But at some point that criteria becomes debilitating and stifles creativity and true curiosity.
As a teacher I loved the idea of rubrics. The expectation was clearly outlined and the students knew exactly what to do. They made the assignment easy to grade, and easy to explain to parents why their student didn’t get a good grade. The problem was I got crap work. My students didn’t push themselves. They did the minimum required work to get the grade they wanted.
I scrapped rubrics.
When there wasn’t a clear right or wrong then my students just worked until it felt right, or when I was able to view their work and provide some feedback. That gave them a benchmark for their work and the ability to see through to a better result.
As a parent I provide approval and permission to my kids in order to provide some protection. It’s a way for me to help them monitor their judgment, or lack of judgment.
Like when my daughter thinks it’s a great idea to practice her swim strokes in the bath. She sees it as practice, which I want to foster. What she doesn’t see is the amount of water that ends up on the floor that makes it slippery for when she gets out, or when that water seeps into the baseboards and causes them to mold.
She just hasn’t developed the thinking patterns yet to make the best judgment in situations like that. I want her to ask. Not because she needs my permission to do things but because I want her to fully think through the situation and the consequences that could result from her actions. It’s a process of education.
Instead what happens (I’m assuming) is that my parenting comes across as black and white.
“You can do this. You can’t do that.”
The results of that can be detrimental. Instead of becoming a healthy independent adult who takes responsibility for her actions, she’ll need my permission and approval to do everything.
That’s my dilemma with parenting. It’s probably a dilemma for me because that need for approval runs deep in me. I have only begun to recognize and get over my need for others permission.
The choices I make I make for a reason. I don’t typically fly by the seat of my pants, but even if I do I had to make a split second decision. I don’t need to justify my decisions, I just need to deal with and embrace the consequences of those decisions.
For whatever reason I get hung up on that transition. I don’t want to make a mistake. I don’t want to deal with the consequences of my own actions. Somehow I think if I get permission then it’s not my fault. I was just listening to the advice of someone else.
This hang up came to surface for me after having a conversation with a student I work with. He signed up for my Right here. Right now. project and was talking to me about my interests.
I could be reading into the conversation but it felt like he was asking me about how I got permission to do things. How did I know it was okay to take action? Who said it was okay for me to do something just because I was interested?
Whether he was asking me that or not it made me reflect on my decisions. Here’s the thing, no one gave Albert Einstein permission to come up with the theory of relativity he just did it. No one chose Martin Luther King Jr. to lead the civil rights movement he just did it. I could go down a list of people who did really cool things that are admirable and made their life worth living.
The only thing that asking permission does is prevents me taking the necessary action to get things done. The only permission I need is my own. Is it something I want to do? Than it’s worth doing.
I mentioned before that I have a fear about making a mistake. I blame school with that one too. The catch 22 with that fear is that it’s through mistakes that I learn. From that mistake I correct course and make a better decision.
Not everything I think is a good idea is going to work, or is going to hold my attention. I have started a lot of projects and not finished. For many of them the reason they’re not finished is because of the permission I wanted or needed to finish.
Either way I will continue to practice only needing my own permission while taking advice from others when I want it.
While in college I had the opportunity to listen to a acting professor from UCLA, at least I think that’s where he taught. He had written a couple of acting books and came out to lecture on his approach to the craft.
There’s not a lot that I remember about the lecture (his name, where’s he from, what he wrote), but there was one thing that stood out and made an impact. During his research he spent some time with native tribes. I can’t remember where.
I promise that the lack of details isn’t the point.
As he recalled this experience with them he talked with a certain reverence for the rituals that he participated in. It was this that he focused on.
He talked about the rituals being the purest form of theatre and having transformative power for the those involved, either watching or participating. It’s this transformation that drew me into theatre. Experiencing a deep catharsis while watching or creating that changed me as a person.
It’s this same process that I’ve loved about religious rituals. Going through wrote motions that tend to get deeper and deeper the more I performed them.
When I was studying masculinity I came across these ancient rites that tribes would perform to mark the transition from boy to man. It was something physical that was performed by the boy that signified this transition.
It was typically something difficult that pushed the limits the boy had so that the act in itself was transformational. It was this ritual that signified his coming of age into masculinity and maturity.
After that point he was given certain privileges and responsibilities. The expectation was already set and if the boy didn’t meet the expectation he would have been socially ostracized.
I have mixed feelings about that kind of social influence, but there’s no question it can be a powerful motivator.
After experiencing my own rituals and seeing the benefits I was curious about how to incorporate them into my life more regularly so that I can gain the benefits more often. Then it dawned on me that the only different between ritual and habit is the reverence and perhaps the subject matter.
There’s a lot on the internet right now about morning rituals (routines). I don’t think there’s anything religious about what I do in the morning but when I say ritual it sounds way more important than routine.
A few weeks ago I started some new morning and evening rituals and it’s made a bigger difference than I expected.
To understand the impact I want you to understand you need to know some background. Are you ready to get real personal?
Part of my new years resolutions this year is to take better care of myself. Since I was 18 the last time I went to the doctor I decided that would be a good place to start. I just went for a general check up and to check out a few specific things:
These specifics were justified. I was able to do a couple of assessments through the nutrition department here at SUU and these were the things that came up as point so concern. Because they aren’t doctors they recommended I get it checked out. It just took me three years to do it.
After mentioning these things to my dad (who is a nurse anesthetist) he told me that he has a family history of osteoporosis (both of his parents), and low hormones. It was long overdue.
Of course, the results came back negative.
As a 33 year old I have:
Here’s the thing about testosterone technically it wasn’t low. The normal range is anywhere from 280-1100 and my levels were at 411. When I mentioned this to my dad he talked to his urologist friend, and the urologist said it should be higher for my age. When I Googled it the internet said I should be at around 600.
The good news is that they are all connected so I don’t have to do a bunch of different treatments to increase all of them. Increasing my vitamin D is going to increase my vitamin C, which is going to improve my bone density and testosterone.
My main concern was testosterone. Not just because of virility, but testosterone effects everything else.
To get a better idea of how to increase my testosterone I read this:
It says there are three different ways to increase testosterone:
My diet isn’t perfect, but it’s not bad. I’m not too worried about it.
I shoot to exercise 3 times a week. It doesn’t always work out that way because of work. But I’m not sedentary.
That leaves number 3, sleep. He starts this section out by saying this is last section but it’s probably the most important. If your sleep isn’t dialed in it doesn’t matter how good your diet or exercise is.
My sleep is terrible. It always has been. My dad struggles with sleep, my grandpa struggled with sleep. Bad sleep is in my genes.
It was obvious that this was my weak spot. If I wanted to improve my health I needed to figure out how to sleep. This is where my new rituals come in.
My problem with getting to sleep is that my brain let’s loose and goes a million miles an hour. I process everything while I’m trying to go to sleep. Once I start I can’t stop.
These rituals help set me up to get my mind in a place where I can relax and get the sleep I want. I’ve implemented both evening and morning rituals to start and end the day the way I want.
This has started to dial in my sleep, but it has done so much more than that. My head is clear, I am more aware, I accomplish more, I feel better. They are small things that have done wonders to my spiritual and mental health.
The process reminded me of the religious rituals I have been through. Small things done consistently over time can make huge difference. I couldn’t recommend something like this enough.
Do you have your own rituals that have made a big difference? What are they?